Funny Famous Quotes - funny famousquotes
The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men more.
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The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
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You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
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I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
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My young son Joshua saw a Police car on the side of the road with lights flashing but no other cars, he said, "Hey Dad, that cop pulled himself over"
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If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married.
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If the Franklin Mint made toasters... Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your authentic Civil War pewter toaster
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