Collection of famous funnyquotes
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age.
I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities.
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years."
Women like me because I make them laugh. And what is an orgasm, except laughter of the loins?
