Famous Funny Quotes

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."

Jim Wohford

"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.

"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!"

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

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