Famous Funny Quotes

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

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"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."

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"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."

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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

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"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."

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"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

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"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."

Jim Wohford

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"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.

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"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!"

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"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

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