Famous Funny Quotes





Famous Funny Quotes

 
 
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
Winston Churchill
 
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I can resist everything except temptation."
Oscar Wilde
 
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"There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money."
Franklin
 
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"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times."
Mark Twain
 
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"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
David Friedman
 
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"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."
Unknown
 
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"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
George Bush
 
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"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."
Noelie Altito
 
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"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
Ken Dodd
 
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"One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool"
Edgar Watson Howe
 
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