Funny One Liners

"Hey! You have a penny on your crotch".

My young son Joshua saw a Police car on the side of the road with lights flashing but no other cars, he said, "Hey Dad, that cop pulled himself over"

Rolaid

All turning lanes are not created equal".

Kelly

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Albert Einstein

A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.

Chris Rock

They have a lot of weird crap out here" - Ben says about animals at Lake.

Powell

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.

Audrey Hepburn

When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.

Edgar Watson Howe

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.

Carl Sandburg

Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.

Augusto Pinochet

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