Short Funny Quotes

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

Television has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Merle Haggard

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

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